I Beat The Hell Out of Another Client Yesterday….It Was (another) One of Those Bloody, Nasty Messes…

So, contrary to what most folks think, it’s not all fun and games in my office.   I mean sure, most of my clients come riding up in shiny brand new cars, dressed in designer clothes, freshly tanned from their latest exotic vacation.   You know who they are, those Americans who have such a great life because, ” They’re not making their mortgage payment, are they?”   Yeah, sure there are all those big fish but every once in a blue moon, I get a ” normal” everyday Amerian family whose incomes dropped because their jobs were shipped away or a spouse or a kid got sick or died or something”¦you know this type too, you know, the whiners and complainers.   Those people that are dragging this country down with all their inability to find jobs and that cancer and death and divorce and other excuses”¦.and yeah, I know what you’re thinking, ” Get a job!”   and quit whining about that cancer and all.
But the clients that really bother me these days are those old school cats, you know the grandpartently types that come in playing that whole senior citizen sympathy game.   I had another one of them in today and I just lost it”¦all over his Greatest Generation arse.   Apparently he and his wife had been married for I don’t know, like 60 years or something.   I picked up on that when grandmom sitting there with her white hair and knitted shirt started distracting me with how she worked so hard when he shipped out to fight the Germans”¦blah, blah, blah.   Yeah, and he was all tattooed up, but you know not cool tats or anything, these things were just like these bled out blobs on his forearms, something about U boats or whatever, and he’s rattling on about storming some beach or something and It’s like, just get to the point already.
First he started with this whole monologue about how he went off to fight, convinced as he was that he was fighting for some larger good or higher purpose.   He talked about his friends that he watched get blown up or bled out to pieces but all the guys that made it home rationalized all the blood because they were, you know, fighting for some higher purpose”¦.right again, blah, blah, blah.
So after I endured all this nonsense, grandmom finally pulls out these file folders and papers that she had catalogued in perfect order and began spreading them all over my desk. She apparently had worked In a law office for like decades so when they started getting in trouble with their mortgage, she kept all the documents, all the records, notes of phone calls, cancelled checks..the whole bit in perfect order.
All her records and their whole miserable story told the same story I’ve heard literally thousands of times now.   He lost his job, she got sick, the bank told them not to pay their mortgage, that they would work   them, get it modified, you know, the whole drill.   So they made their three payments, four payments, six”¦they in fact just kept on making their payments”¦.because that’s what the bank told them to do.
What they didn’t know was that the bank had long ago filed a foreclosure on them”¦.
Now apparently they didn’t know about the foreclosure at first because, according to the process server’s affidavit of diligent search and inquiry, they avoided the process server’s attempts to serve them.   Now grandmom asserted that because of his various conditions, they rarely left the house””except to go to church on Sunday, but you know, whatever, the affidavit says they were avoiding service so they were served via a small notice in an obscure newspaper that no one has ever read.   Grandmom and Granddad both looked up at me and pleaded, ” But we didn’t avoid anything, that affidavit is a lie!” Yeah, yeah, I know”¦really I do, I’ve seen it time after time.   In fact Florida’s very own television Attorney General (theoretically at least) still has open investigations in to the improper practices of these guys.   So they both looked at me with those sad pleading eyes, and said, ” Well surely then, the Attorney General   will do something and the judge will believe us and give us a chance to defend our case!”   I explained to them, slowly at first, that no one gives a damn about them.   And then I explained to them that Florida’s Attorney General investigations were going nowhere, slowly.   They both kind of stuttered and sputtered whining again about the fact that surely someone would care about lies and wrongdoing.
Next we turned to all their paperwork.   It was clear that there were major errors all over their pages after pages of legal confetti.   Forget about robo signing, apparently when the foreclosure mill attorneys realized they had defaulted defendants, they just ignored even the barest legal requirements.   No assignment of mortgage, no endorsement, no good affidavits”¦.all the wrong pieces were there.   The old man’s eyes lit up, ” So it’s all wrong, surely the judge see that it’s wrong and let us keep our home!”   He had such hopeful and enthusiastic eyes”¦.childlike in their naivety”¦..he apparently harbored dangerous delusions about what our nation’s legal system had become.   And then grandma chimed in, ” And we were making all the modifications they told us to, this is all just a horrible mistake after all. The judge will make this right, he must!”   She suffered from the same delusions about our legal system as her husband.
I tried explaining to them over and over again that no one cared about their hopeless story”¦.but they refused to listen”¦.they kept staring back at me with those pleading, grand parent eyes, ” but you’re a lawyer and the judges have to listen” They pleaded.   ” We live in a nation of laws and the judges have to stand up for us and do what’s right.” More with their hopeless delusions.   ” But you can see right here all the lies and the fraud and the errors in the bank’s paperwork.” Yeah, I’ve seen it all every single day for years now”¦.why is this case any different?
This went on and on, both of them explaining to me what they thought they knew about our nation and our nation’s court system and our nation’s laws and justice and The Truth and all of that.   I tried explaining to them about campaign contributions and corruption and the undeniable fact that absolute evil really does exist in this world. ” But our nation’s courts, our judges, our law”¦” Granddad preached back to me. He just wouldn’t get it. So then grandmom laid into me, ” But you said it yourself Mr. Weidner, their papers are all wrong, their fraud and all those investigations!” Right, I reminded her, but you’re forgetting about the campaign contributions. ” And we were making our trial payments just like they told us to.” I know you were but, hey you know, mistakes happen.
” So you’re telling us with all of this there’s nothing you can do?” Let me make this very clear, ” No, there’s nothing I can do”¦.you lose, get out of the home.   The bank wants you out so it can add another vacant and abandoned home to its growing inventory.”
” But Mr. Weidner, this is all so unfair”¦.this shouldn’t be happening in this nation”¦.this nation that I fought for”¦.this nation that I watched my friends get blown to pieces for”¦.this nation that me and my wife raised our children up to love and respect.   And our courts, our judges, our laws. Surely they can be used to stop all this wrongdoing and evil”¦you’re a lawyer after all, you know the law, you can do something.”
I tried once again to explain it to both of them, how campaign contributions and the overwhelming power of the corporate state had corrupted everything.   But they just refused to get it and kept staring back at me with two sets of grandparent eyes.
Granddad wasn’t done left and summoned up some new resolve, he started quoting some old phrase that he thought would have some impact one me,
” One Nation, Under God, With Liberty And Justice For All”
He said.   Like that was supposed to mean something to me.   Whatever that phrase was and whatever he thought it meant, he didn’t get that it was just a clever advertising slogan that some ad executive dreamt up to cell cereal or cigarettes or something.   He tried to explain to me that it wasn’t an advertising slogan, but that it had something to do with our nation’s laws and government”¦.but this whole experience was really starting to annoy and infuriate me.   What with all their whining and preaching and pleading and all.   So then he repeated it again”¦..

” One Nation, Under God, With Liberty And Justice For All”

With grand mom sitting right there egging him on.   Listen grandparental folks, I explained”¦.go find a nice bridge somewhere, and start adjusting to your new life”¦..

” One Nation, Under God, With Liberty And Justice For All”

He repeated it again and added on few personal slurs and attacks at me, ” You’re a lawyer, you know what to do in a courtroom, please fight for us.”   These intensely personal attacks really started to get at me.

” One Nation, Under God, With Liberty And Justice For All”

We can appeal and make someone listen”¦.on and on with this one”¦he just wouldn’t stop.   And when he went back into the whole, ” But you’re a lawyer” thing, I just lost it”¦I realized he was not going to break out of his delusional state on his own and I didn’t want to talk down to him or disrespect him in front of his wife, so I just started pounding on him”¦.just beating the living daylights out of him.   He quickly turned into a groveling, bloody mess”¦his wife pulling out a handkerchief and trying her best to wipe off the blood.   He rolled down onto the ground and I delivered a few good kicks just to drive home the point a little further.
There’s your Justice for All.   There’s your big fat chunk of the American experience old timer.   Now quit with all your whining, pick your beaten and bloody self off my floor and get out of here”¦.